the drugs

whoa whoa. what's the big a** thing they just stuck into my wall column. that was a close call, that huge rocket that just crashed into my wall and shot out all sorts of explosives is . . .

oooh . . . feeling queezy . . . losing all sensation.

wow, so much for a drug free america. now i know why you can't get off the drugs once you start. this stuff is sweeeeeeeeeeet.

and mom and dad, they're just sitting watching tv. actually, it's quite amazing because after those drugs, mom's been sitting in the bed for 6 straight hours and get this . . . she hasn't gotten up to pee even once! this is the same woman who pees every 5 minutes. it's amazing!

oh wait, i figured it out, they have some tube stuck in her that's peeing for her. i initially thought that was cheating, but now i'm thinking i have to get mom one of these tube things for her birthday. she hates having to go so often.

well, i don't have a lot of perspective, but after 6 hours of sitting around watching tv and joking about the pee bag, the doctor has come in and said, "it's time to push!" of course, i don't know where the docs go to school for their bedside manners. i mean, i'm a real person here and everyone's here because of me. so maybe they should give me my proper due. i'm thinking something like blaring regal trumpets announcing the arrival of . . . me!